Friday 13 June 2008

White Van Man


An astonishing amount of accidents on the road involve a van, so much so that the term ‘white van man’ has become synonymous with a jumped up prick in a van who thinks he owns the road.

I had a run in with one of these types a few years ago, when he creased the front of my beloved MX5 trying to push into a queue of traffic. I’ve never liked them since but needed one to take the rubbish from the cellar to the tip.

Getting behind the wheel of one of these brutes for the first time was an experience. You’re very high up, can’t see the front of the vehicle and, most worrying of all, have no rear view mirror. Like most drivers it’s the rear view that’s the most important, the side mirrors are for watching out for bikers and ancillary information. Without a rear view my head was going from side to side like a tennis fanatic watching Sampras verses Federer.

But the van also brings subtle changes in driving. I’m a careful and considerate driver I like to think, more James May than Jeremy Clarkson. But driving a Transit I watched myself becoming more aggressive, accelerating more quickly and taking more control of the road.

Like most aggression this is down to fear. With such limited views you have to take a certain amount of control just to make sure you know where everyone is. Trying to dominate the road is one way to cope.

There are also real pluses to driving a van. Other van drivers for example are models of politeness, and taxis will wave you through. The raised driving position also gives some very interesting views, both of the streets and other drivers (hint to female drivers in skirts; we can see when you’re driving with them up.)

That said I was glad to hand the van back having completed the runs to the tip. Driving in London is bad enough, being a van driver in London could be very dangerous indeed for one’s sanity.

Thankfully I had dinner with some good friends and refined conversation in the evening to bring me back to civilisation. Another few days of this and I'd have been buying copies of The Sun.

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