Two weeks to go

Fuuuuuuuck!

Privacy please

Interesting news from the US I’ve just heard about. Customs can now search your laptop on entering the country and you have to hand over passwords. Given I’m taking two across in my hand luggage this could be a problem I’ll have to face.

My work laptop is going to be a problem. Company secrets can’t be handed over in such a cavalier fashion so I’ll have to make sure they are taken off before travelling and stored on a UK server for later download. The move is already acting as a spur to clean up the laptop but the court ruling adds urgency to this.

As for the personal laptop that’s clean, but I still don’t like the idea of someone going through my correspondence. Thankfully a history of hacking has left me with a few tricks up my sleeve that should fox anyone taking a sneaky peep. Most customs officers don’t have a clue about computers so I’m not too worried.

Dog Days

This weekend was full of of dogs, with a bit of motor racing thrown in for good measure. On Saturday I went round to see my oldest friend and his wife for a farewell dinner. I've known V since he was a spotty first year in halls of residence at university, but a lot of beer has passed under the bridge since then.

He's a big swinging dick (BSD) in the City now but thankfully hasn't become one of those irritating ones you see in bars trumpeting their imaginary self-importance. Mind you, he has had a bit of an ethics bypass, but that's the world of finance for you. His wife R is Spanish and a sweetheart - not least because she makes strong gin and tonics by the pint glass, which is a fast way to my heart.

They breed dogs in their space time so spent most of the night trying to satisfy five small balls of fur with treats and ear rubs. I'm not a huge fan of small fluffy dogs but in their case I'll make an exception. Add into that an excellent meal and fine wines and it was an evening to remember. V is the one person I never take wine for when invited round for dinner - he's a wine buff with a stunningly good cellar and anything I'd buy would have invited good natured ridicule.

Sunday saw me round to R&B’s for Grand Prix day, Monaco this time round and Monaco in the rain, which always makes for an interesting race. Hamilton drove a very skilled, and very lucky, session to clinch the winner’s podium. But the tragedy of the race came near the end. Adrian Sutil from Force India drove a cracking race and was up to fourth when Raikkonen lost it and slammed into the back of him, taking him out. I understand he was in tears later and I’m not surprised – that crash cost his team millions and him the best finish of his career. But he drove a really mature race and I’m sure he’ll be back.

R&B have two dogs, Charlie and Toffee, and it’s always nice to see those two. Charlie’s the Alpha dog and won’t stop barking when you come into the house until he gets the chest rub he sees as his due. Toffee’s a lap dog and likes nothing better then squirming onto you and trying to lick your face. I'll miss them nearly as much as R&B and their two lovely kids - sorry G&S, young adults.

People often say you’re either a dog or cat person. This is rubbish; it’s perfectly possible to be both. Dogs are easy to understand, very affectionate and will put up with a lot, but they are kind of dumb. Cats are beautiful, smart, mostly standoffish and occasionally nasty bastards to small rodents, but you let them get away with it because of the upsides. Few things compare to a happy cat purring away beside you. The ideal house is one with both, so long as they get along.

Belated posting

Well, another series of missives added late, but as you'll see a lot's been happening.

In the meanwhile I'd recommend going to see Iron Man. Too many comic to screen films are rubbish but this one takes a very mediocre comic and turns it into a great bit of brain candy. Robert Downey Junior hasn't been this good since Less than Zero, Jeff Bridges makes an excellent bad guy and even Gwenyth Paltrow turns in an OK performance.

Geek love

As part of the home clearance I've come across a fair amount of technology that has been given away at various press events and I haven't got around to using.

Now I know some of my American counterparts have a very hard line on freebies. Many are barred from even accepting a grotty tshirt in case it is seen as bribery. US journalists as a rule never take gifts, pay their own way on trips and even take their own coffee into interviews in order to avoid the slightest perception that they are being influenced by those they are paid to cover.

European journalists, by in large, take the opposite view. Budgets are much tighter on this side of the Great Salty Puddle, journalists salaries are much lower and so we take every freebie going and are more than happy for companies to fly us to distant events. Simple economics means that if they didn't we couldn't afford to go and companies recognise this and take us.

I once had a polite but forceful row with an excellent journalist on Wired, who was appalled that we accepted such gifts. "What about bias?" she said. The simple answer is to look at how we behave. Generally, and this is a sweeping statement but broadly true, the US press gives interviewees a much easier ride that the UK press.

You'll never see a British hack applaud a press conference or preface their question with a comment on how great the presentation was - behavior I've seen from the US press many times. We are our own watchmen and any journalist who softballs or shows bias gets drummed out of the profession very quickly.

Anyway, so I took some unused kit to the Computer Exchange and traded it in. On my way out I saw this, a ThinkPad T60, sitting alone and unloved in the corner of the shop. I knew it had to be mine and, after a quick inspection, a rummage around on the hard drive and a brief exchange of funds, it was - and I'm writing this on it now.

But SL I hear you say, why not get a Sony with its pretty designs, or a nice cheap Dell or HP machine. Well the simple answer is that, in my opinion, there is no better laptop than a ThinkPad. I've used a lot of laptops over the last 15 years, reviewed many, many more, and nothing else matches the ThinkPad*.

They are beautifully utilitarian, have the best keyboards in the business and are so rugged you could beat off a hoard of dervishes with one and still be able to check your Gmail afterwards. They are the best of IBM's engineering and Lenovo have wisely decided not to muck about with perfection.

Plus they have the 'magic eraser' cursor controller on the keyboard so you can turn the trackpad off. I once lost a page and a half of copy because my thumbs were dragging on the trackpad and I've never trusted them since. Lessons like that, along with not backing up regularly and making boot discs, you only have to learn once.

My glee in getting this little beauty was deeply geeky, but I'm proud of my geekiness and was over the moon with this find. All it needs now is a few upgrades to the hard drive and memory and I'll have a machine that will last for years.

*Before you ask no, Lenovo did not sponsor this posting and the only gifts I have taken from the company over the years are a Bluetooth mouse I can't even give away, a useless power cable and a laptop bag. Its management team are touchy little wankers too - if it wasn't for a good internal and external PR team they'd be sunk.

Advertising is bunk

OK, looks like I've got stung by an advert. You may have seen it yourself, the one for HSBC's international accounts.

An Asian family are moving to Canada and the little daughter is sad that she has to leave her pets behind. Luckily their friendly bank arranges everything, and the little girl who was so sad to leave home is happy again. Seems simple enough, and as HSBC have offices in San Fran it seemed like something to check out.

But the devil is in the details. I left work early on Friday and went to the bank, saw the queue and made an appointment for this morning instead. The staff there were very helpful but it turns out, like many adverts, you've got to read the small print. The account is only available to HSBC customers who've been banking for at least a year, or who have savings of £50,000 or a £200,000 mortgage. So that's me buggered then.

Thunderbirds are go

Finally, after over six months of fannying about, I've got a date. I'll be in the US by June 15th or probably a week earlier. It's finally begun and I'm excited, eager and a little bit nervous.

To be fair to the company it's not all their fault. The amount of regulatory hurdles you've got to jump through to get over there are staggering and, for the supposed land of the free, there's more bureaucracy than you can shake a stick at over there.

Still, the clock is now ticking. Time to get weaving...

Tax woes

You may have seen in a previous post my appreciation of the Inland Revenue. Well I take it all back.

It turns out I have to pay National Insurance for the first year I work overseas. The logic behind this eludes me. I'm not using services in this country, cost the tax payer nothing and yet I've got to pay taxes in two countries at the same time.

Taxes are the price we pay for a civilised society and I've never tried to evade them; indeed have a contempt for those who do. I've never claimed dole (even when it meant working in a Kentucky Fried Chicken for three months to make ends meet, something which even now means I can't eat the stuff - I know too much), never taken any housing benefits and actively campaigned for higher taxes to pay for public services.

Now those leeches want a piece of my paycheck for nothing. It's almost enough to make me vote Conservative, but not quite.

Turkish delight

Went round to one of my best mate's house on Sunday to watch the Turkish Grand Prix, and what a race it was.

Turkey has one of the best circuits in the world, with lots of overtaking opportunities, the longest, hardest right handed turn in the business and some truly vicious corners. Lewis Hamilton acquitted himself well, with a classic overtake on Massa and hard driving all the way. His second place was the best he could have hoped for given Ferrari have a faster car and he can be proud of his race.

But it made me miss the good old days when teams were allowed more leeway in design and tyres. Today's Formula One cars are so tightly controlled it takes a lot of the fun out of it. Ken Tyrrell just wouldn't be allowed to produce the P34 six wheeler these days and the lack of slick tires and proper downforce means there's less overtaking and most races are won by refuelling strategies. It doesn't make for good viewing and harms innovation.

Maybe I should take R's recommendation and switch allegiance to the Moto GP series. You see more overtaking in a few laps than you see in an entire F1 race. Bike riding also requires a lot more skill, since the entire machine's contact patch with the track is the size of a credit card. But I've been following F1 for so many years it's hard to contemplate switching allegiances.

Champing at the bit

This is very annoying but it looks like another week’s worth of kafuffle on paperwork before the move. It’s intensely frustrating – my life’s been on hold since November and I’m keen to go.

Add to that the pernicious bastard Cupid has just turned up and I’ve been enjoying serious flirtage with a lovely lass from the other side of the tracks in the company. When I find that badly timed little devil I’m going to clip his tailfeathers and give him one of his own arrows were the sun doesn't shine.

Still and all it could be worse. Istanbul is a good F1 circuit with decent overtaking spots so Sunday’s Grand Prix should be a good one, even if Davidson is sadly out. Someone get that guy a drive, he’s got real promise. Super Aguri fall and yet Mosley survives - there is no god.

Goodbye Ken

It’s happened. After eight years Ken Livingstone has lost his post as mayor of London by a buffoonish racist called Boris Johnson. I’m glad I’m leaving the country if it means I can avoid the nightmare London will become under this fool.

Ken Livingstone has a lot of faults but he had the guts to push through the congestion charge, revitalised London’s transport network (and used it himself) and made affordable housing for residents a priority.

By contrast Boris, while being a very funny raconteur, has had two affairs (that we know about), is racist, homophobic and lacks the common sense of a whelk. May the gods help us.

Bank Holiday

First off I know it’s a cheat but I’ve been lax on the blog these last few weeks so here’s some entries that should have been on the dates they are posted under.

A good time was had at work, a sort of last day at school feeling because we get Monday off for a public holiday. Plus, any time I can write a story with the headline ‘Japanese civil servant in web porn frenzy’ is a good one.

Anyway, the Bank Holiday is here and I’m going to luxuriate in my time off. Tomorrow looks sunny and it’s off to a friend’s house to chop wood, drink wine, play with dogs and eat fine food, then doing it all again on Sunday. Can’t wait. Have a good weekend all.