Advertising is bunk

OK, looks like I've got stung by an advert. You may have seen it yourself, the one for HSBC's international accounts.

An Asian family are moving to Canada and the little daughter is sad that she has to leave her pets behind. Luckily their friendly bank arranges everything, and the little girl who was so sad to leave home is happy again. Seems simple enough, and as HSBC have offices in San Fran it seemed like something to check out.

But the devil is in the details. I left work early on Friday and went to the bank, saw the queue and made an appointment for this morning instead. The staff there were very helpful but it turns out, like many adverts, you've got to read the small print. The account is only available to HSBC customers who've been banking for at least a year, or who have savings of £50,000 or a £200,000 mortgage. So that's me buggered then.

Thunderbirds are go

Finally, after over six months of fannying about, I've got a date. I'll be in the US by June 15th or probably a week earlier. It's finally begun and I'm excited, eager and a little bit nervous.

To be fair to the company it's not all their fault. The amount of regulatory hurdles you've got to jump through to get over there are staggering and, for the supposed land of the free, there's more bureaucracy than you can shake a stick at over there.

Still, the clock is now ticking. Time to get weaving...

Tax woes

You may have seen in a previous post my appreciation of the Inland Revenue. Well I take it all back.

It turns out I have to pay National Insurance for the first year I work overseas. The logic behind this eludes me. I'm not using services in this country, cost the tax payer nothing and yet I've got to pay taxes in two countries at the same time.

Taxes are the price we pay for a civilised society and I've never tried to evade them; indeed have a contempt for those who do. I've never claimed dole (even when it meant working in a Kentucky Fried Chicken for three months to make ends meet, something which even now means I can't eat the stuff - I know too much), never taken any housing benefits and actively campaigned for higher taxes to pay for public services.

Now those leeches want a piece of my paycheck for nothing. It's almost enough to make me vote Conservative, but not quite.

Turkish delight

Went round to one of my best mate's house on Sunday to watch the Turkish Grand Prix, and what a race it was.

Turkey has one of the best circuits in the world, with lots of overtaking opportunities, the longest, hardest right handed turn in the business and some truly vicious corners. Lewis Hamilton acquitted himself well, with a classic overtake on Massa and hard driving all the way. His second place was the best he could have hoped for given Ferrari have a faster car and he can be proud of his race.

But it made me miss the good old days when teams were allowed more leeway in design and tyres. Today's Formula One cars are so tightly controlled it takes a lot of the fun out of it. Ken Tyrrell just wouldn't be allowed to produce the P34 six wheeler these days and the lack of slick tires and proper downforce means there's less overtaking and most races are won by refuelling strategies. It doesn't make for good viewing and harms innovation.

Maybe I should take R's recommendation and switch allegiance to the Moto GP series. You see more overtaking in a few laps than you see in an entire F1 race. Bike riding also requires a lot more skill, since the entire machine's contact patch with the track is the size of a credit card. But I've been following F1 for so many years it's hard to contemplate switching allegiances.

Champing at the bit

This is very annoying but it looks like another week’s worth of kafuffle on paperwork before the move. It’s intensely frustrating – my life’s been on hold since November and I’m keen to go.

Add to that the pernicious bastard Cupid has just turned up and I’ve been enjoying serious flirtage with a lovely lass from the other side of the tracks in the company. When I find that badly timed little devil I’m going to clip his tailfeathers and give him one of his own arrows were the sun doesn't shine.

Still and all it could be worse. Istanbul is a good F1 circuit with decent overtaking spots so Sunday’s Grand Prix should be a good one, even if Davidson is sadly out. Someone get that guy a drive, he’s got real promise. Super Aguri fall and yet Mosley survives - there is no god.

Goodbye Ken

It’s happened. After eight years Ken Livingstone has lost his post as mayor of London by a buffoonish racist called Boris Johnson. I’m glad I’m leaving the country if it means I can avoid the nightmare London will become under this fool.

Ken Livingstone has a lot of faults but he had the guts to push through the congestion charge, revitalised London’s transport network (and used it himself) and made affordable housing for residents a priority.

By contrast Boris, while being a very funny raconteur, has had two affairs (that we know about), is racist, homophobic and lacks the common sense of a whelk. May the gods help us.

Bank Holiday

First off I know it’s a cheat but I’ve been lax on the blog these last few weeks so here’s some entries that should have been on the dates they are posted under.

A good time was had at work, a sort of last day at school feeling because we get Monday off for a public holiday. Plus, any time I can write a story with the headline ‘Japanese civil servant in web porn frenzy’ is a good one.

Anyway, the Bank Holiday is here and I’m going to luxuriate in my time off. Tomorrow looks sunny and it’s off to a friend’s house to chop wood, drink wine, play with dogs and eat fine food, then doing it all again on Sunday. Can’t wait. Have a good weekend all.